EllaVate: Setting Goals – Is There A Right Or Wrong Way?


By Cherise L. Wesson for EllaVate Life Coaching

In my opinion, there is no right or wrong way to set goals…unless they stress you out, zap your energy and steal your uniqueness and creativity. That would be no bueno. Don’t feel overwhelmed or that they have to be perfect. Goals are basically a dream with a deadline and the steps to get there. Goals are about you. They can be as unique as you are. The methods of reaching them can be just as unique. They are about who you become in the process.

As a personal coach, I work with a lot of different ladies. Each are unique and so are their goals. There are some common ways I found that help my clients as they set their goals. I wanted to share them with you as I know many are preparing for the new year and setting goals.

1. They are YOUR goals

I see this often. Many of the ladies who come to EllaVate Life Coaching come for help with their goals. Once I sit down with them and we analyze their goals, we discover that their goals are not actually their own. The goals that they have been trying to achieve often belong to someone else.

Perhaps their mother wanted them to go into the medical or legal field, but they wanted to go into education or creative arts. Maybe they are a healthy size 9 jeans (and look GREAT) but society tells them they need to be a size 5.

Some times their goals resemble those of their friends. If you don’t like traveling, why set your goals to do so? If you like underwater yoga (if that even exists???) don’t let people discourage you from doing what you love…(just be sure you don’t hold your breath too long).

You will have limited results when you set and pursue goals that do not belong to you. God made you unique. It is not a one-size-fits-all approach.

2. Tie them to your VALUES

One of the most effective ways to have fun while achieving your goals is to tie them to your own personal values. Values are like a compass that direct us on every decision we make.

Often people do not even know their values, much less do they know the order of their values. The order of your values also plays a large role in the decisions you make.

I work with my clients to discover and clarify their values. This has proven to be a great way for them not only to achieve goals but also to lead a more rewarding, enjoyable and fulfilling life.

3. Be willing to trash them

How long have you been setting the same weightless goal and it is still lingering? How many years have you been saying you were going to do that one thing and still have not?

This does not mean they are bad goals or that there is something crazy wrong with you. Perhaps it is time to revisit those goals? See if they are a dead weight that is discouraging or if it is something that you would like to do.

Here are the options when you revisit your goals:

Trash it-when you just need to let it go.

Shelf it-if you would like to come back to it later.

Restructure it-if it is worth salvaging.

Do it-if you know you will follow through.

4. God knows

When God created you, you were an original, a masterpiece that is one of a kind. Do not hide or exchange your uniqueness to fit in…even when it comes to goals. If you are a rebel-out-of-the-box, color-outside-of-the-lines kind of person (which I tend to be), it is ok to learn from other personality types but do not stop being you. Set your goals accordingly. Give yourself room to be you as you set and accomplish your goals. If you are cautious and pensive in your goals, do not think that you HAVE to do something wild and crazy…unless that is something you WANT to do. Be you.

Ask God to help you set goals that align with the purpose he created you for. Instead of paddling against the current, you will find that life is easier when you be who God created you to be. Isaiah 48:17 in the Bible reveals that God will teach us how to profit and lead us in the correct and right way that we should go as individuals. God knows.


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